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3 Must Do’s For Amazing Sex
The difficulty of sex comes from the communication. Partners are unlikely to get their sexual desires met if they’re uncomfortable discussing them in the first place.
When we can understand the way we desire and communicate our intimacy, the barriers that block a passionate sex life fall down, leaving a beautiful, erotic mess in between the bed sheets. These are the three must dos in a relationship.
• You must understand and chart each other’s sexual love map.
There seems to be a striking difference in the way men and women see sex. Most women desire sex when they feel emotionally close, where as men use sex as a way of becoming emotionally close. The way in which we feel loved and rejected in sex may be different.
By sharing how you experience love and rejection, you’ll begin to understand your partner more and your partner will understand you as well. Any honest conversation you can have about sex will significantly improve your relationship both inside and outside of the bedroom.
• You must discuss sexual shame and rejection.
So much of our culture treats sexuality as something shameful, and because of this, it’s hard to avoid sexual shame. Embarrassment about sexual urges or anxiety over performance makes it threatening to trust your partner with your intimate secrets.
When a relationship works well, it’s because both partners respects the sexual nature of each other.
You have sexual desires. They are valid and you have every right to pursue and satisfy them (as long as you don’t hurt anyone in the process). Ironically, your desires are the hottest thing imaginable to your partner.
• You must plan sex (occasionally).
There is a powerful belief that good sex is suppose to be easy, uninhibited, and tension-free. It’s said that either your partner and you have it or you don’t. It’s kind of ironic in our modern willpower society that encourages us to manifest our careers through deliberate and relentless work ethic that our sex lives must only rise in the spontaneity of the moment.
Spontaneity is a wonderful fantasy, but in an ongoing relationship whatever is going to “just happen” has already happened. Now you have to make it happen.
Planned sex is intentional sex. Create an erotic space and time for your partner and you to connect. What happens in the space is up to you, but the space itself is deliberately designed to bring the erotic emotions back into the relationship.