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7 Surprising Facts About Infidelity
Why people cheat is more complicated than what TV and movies depict.
Cheating is exciting many believe but the reasons why people cheat are more complicated than getting a rush of adrenaline or arousal. Extramarital affairs are rarely about sex. It almost always comes back to someone in the relationship needing validation. Maybe they are not feeling understood or are having problems at work, and that’s why they cheat. So while sex may sell entertainment and the affair storylines may be simple, the reality of infidelity is not. Here are the realities surrounding infidelity.
It’s more likely when one person is the breadwinner. Some people — men and women — cheat on their spouses because they are not the breadwinners. You would think that people would not want to bite the hand that feeds them, so to speak, but that is not the case. Studies show that you are more likely to cheat if you are economically dependent on your spouse. More so if you are a man with a working wife. We naturally compare ourselves to see how we stack up and don’t want to feel like we are on the losing end of the comparison. Men are supposed to be breadwinners, and although women may not like being dependent on a man, nobody is questioning her femininity as a result. By contrast, men engage in compensatory hyper-masculine behaviour such as cheating, which also allows him to punish the breadwinning spouse.
It may occur when your workplace is dominated by the opposite sex. Men who work in jobs where they are around lots of women may stray, but this is not true of women in male-dominated fields. Women may be traveling more for work, but they are likely very aware that others will say that they slept their way to the top, so they go out of their way to avoid that scenario.
Faking orgasms make it all the more likely. There are reasons why people fake orgasms: to make sure that their partner feels satisfied or accomplished, or to make sure their partner doesn’t stray. However, this simple act could have an unintended outcome. A study concluded that faking orgasms was associated with women having sexual affairs and men having lower relationship satisfaction. Faking orgasm leaves a person more than just unsatisfied. It might also leave them bitter and more likely to seek satisfaction elsewhere.
Unprotected sex occurs. Unfaithful couples are less likely than others to use condoms during intercourse. This finding is understandable if you dig deeper. They are not prepared, and there is something about stopping what you are doing and making a condom run that would give you second thoughts.
Facebook includes friends who had benefits. Social media sites such as Facebook are playing an increasing role in infidelity and divorce court. Facebook is like your high school reunion on steroids. Picture this: You have a heated argument with your spouse after a long day at work, then you log on and easily reconnect with your high school sweetheart. You start reminiscing and venting, and then one thing leads to another. It’s more about who you were back then, but this can be a slippery slope.
It isn’t always physical. Emotional affairs count too. If you are speaking, acting, or behaving in a way with someone else that you wouldn’t if your partner was there, you’re crossing a line.
Your marriage doesn’t have to end. Infidelity doesn’t have to end in divorce. The trust may be fractured, but with open communication, couples can move past infidelity. It’s not easy, and infidelity could be a deal-breaker for some, but many couples can and do work their way back.