WOW | Men Speak

Is it okay if she remains friends with an ex? Would you?

Amrit Bhandari

Investor, Writer, Formerly with the French Army

I think we should respect individual liberty. Friendship with an ex isn’t bad. In fact restricting it may turn into insecurity and vulnerability. Being friends makes one caring and kind. An envious person can never attain a happy life neither focus on day to day work. It would be juvenile to forbid being friends with an ex. We can’t construct relationships on authoritarian principles. It is a very complicated culture when we wish to own each other. We have rights on each other only if we wish and allow it. Love is not the validation for individual possession.

Let us assume for a while, if she is friend with her ex and I am disquieted, for my sake she would compromise her freedom of choice or she might see him in my absence. We have a culture to bound individual feelings. This can only lead to more painful situations.

Personally, I do not find any rational in remaining friends with an ex. If you have moved past a relationship, it is for a reason, otherwise you would still be together. I am in no way insecure either, so if my partner wishes to remain friends with her ex, I would not impose restrictions in the name of love and our relationship. We are all different people and any adult should be able to decide what’s best for them.