WOW | What You Think
Do you approve of him having mostly female friends?
National Project Coordinator, INSEC/ Youth Time Ambassador .
I have always been a follower of the book ‘Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus’ by John Gray. It states that most common relationship problems between men and women are a result of fundamental psychological differences between the sexes. Just like the book, I think the differences between men and women are so extreme that without a concentrated effort to understand them, it is not possible to have a strong relationship. I would never mind my husband having more female friends because having a female friend would enable him to understand a woman more appropriately and make him more chivalrous. After all, the things that matter the most in a relationship are trust, love and respect, and I am happy that we have that.
Why wouldn’t I? If I am together with someone I trust that person. There is nothing wrong in having female friends. I have many male friends as well and I’m pretty positive that my man approves of it. I feel everyone needs space in their social life. In my case, having worked in the glamour industry, I have a lot of male friends/colleagues; gender doesn’t really matter to me. Also one of the main reasons I approve of my boyfriend having mostly female friends is because I feel it is easier to bond with people of the opposite sex.
I believe relationships are built on trust. And where there is doubt, love there is weaker. I also think we should give space to each other in a relationship. Trying to control your partner’s every move and clinging on to him/her is a kind of mistrust. If he makes female friends, it’s okay with me because we always discuss about what behaviour is acceptable and what is not for me. If I am not comfortable with something, then I talk about it and misunderstandings clear out so that it doesn’t keep happening again and again. Therefore, my hubby having female friends does not bother me in anyway.
The gender of my boyfriend or husband’s friends does not matter to me at all. I don’t expect a partner to leave his friends or stop being friends with other women just because we are together. I would, however, expect to be introduced to most of his good friends – female or not. If the female friend was once a romantic interest, I can see it being a bit awkward but introducing us would probably end that awkwardness at some point too! I would expect him to feel the same way about my guy friends. If I don’t wish to end any friendships just because I’ve entered a relationship, how can I expect anything different from him?
Proprietor, Grace Fashion Gallery
I really don’t think I’ll approve of him having mostly female friends. Guys like to hang out in groups late at night, and it would be very awkward for me to imagine he is hanging out with four, five girls at night. Men have a different kind of bonding that they can have only with other guys. Besides that I think I am capable enough to provide the female bonding he needs. I would also like to clarify that it doesn’t mean I am against him having female friends, just not mostly.
Anupama Acharya Maharjan
Marketing and Public Relations Assistant Manager, Soaltee Crowne Plaza
On a little background, growing up I always got along better with guys. Unlike most girls in my class, my closest friends were boys. Girls just didn’t seem to like me much, and I wasn’t a fan of the drama that often came along with girlfriends. Instead, I found guys to be straightforward, simple, and relatively drama free. Plus, my interests aligned better with the male population – sports and more sports. For whatever reason, I just clicked with guys better than girls, despite my best efforts. It is obvious that we tend to become close friends when interests meet, whether it is with a female or male. A major reason why you are jealous over your boyfriend/husband’s female friends is that you fear he will leave you for one of them. On the other hand, forbidding your boyfriend/husband from having female friends isn’t the answer because he will most likely resent that you are trying to control his friendships. Personally, I will have no problem with my husband having mostly female friends. Truthfully, no one should know your spouse better than you. As long as their friendship appears to be completely platonic and my husband treats her like any of his other friends, I would completely stop worrying. Whether she is model-hot or has an awesome personality, the thing I have to remember is the commitment we have made to each other. So, unless I see signs of suspicious behaviour (which I haven’t ever in my eight years of marriage), I completely trust him as I know it will only make him miserable and strain the relationship if I am too forceful.