WOW | Men Speak

How important is it to maintain SELF-IDENTITY in a relationship?

Manish Shahi
Senior Assistant, NIBL Capital Markets

Adjustments do exist in a relationship but losing one’s self identity should be a Big “NO”. Who you are is your self identity and the way you look at yourself and your relationship to the world. You also understand that you are only able to control who you are, and that while making a good judgment about how others might behave, you are unable to determine their world view or what boundaries they might or might not have and how they may act. You do not make the mistake of attempting to get results by controlling another person’s world view and self identity.

Having a sense of identity and better understanding of it allows people to stand out as individuals, develop a sense of well being, importance and fit in every relationship. It provides you with the ability to comprehend and accept yourself and if needed, change who you are to create who you want to be. Your identity is what is looked upon first before understanding the things associated with you.

Without the self identity in relationship, how can someone give identity and meaning to the relationship. Relationships are born out of identity not the reverse. Balancing togetherness and individuality make relationships healthy and long lasting.

If you’re not accepted for who you are then that person is not worth having in your life. Equal importance should be given to your identity and the other person’s.