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Monsoon Muses

The skies were gray and a light shower fell gently on the trees. I watched each drop touch the ground, merge into the soil and disappear. A bit like life really. We hold on to moments and people and things but ultimately each breath exhaled merges into the atmosphere… which one was mine?

I think about love… and somehow understand that my definition of love has changed inexplicably with time. Today a lot of my love comes without expectation or attachment. Today I understand that love also means pain, suffering, hurt, anxiety. That we can allow everything that another person does to prompt a reaction… he shouts, you shout back, he ignores you, you cry, he doesn’t pick up his phone, you imagine the worst…. Or we can love another person timelessly yet remain untouched inside. We can cease the struggle and the longing and the need for control when we know that we do not need another person to complete us whatever the nature of our relationship. And when you love like this it does not mean that you love less, or that you are selfish, or your love lacks passion. This way you love more intensely but without the need for assurance.

The whole world lives and feeds on love… we just love different things. Some people love people, some people love things, and some love the idea of love. We go to great lengths to find the perfect someone and yet a small indiscretion can break that relationship. We live in pursuit of acquiring wealth, name and fame often at the cost of the simpler joys of life… and it takes a lifetime to understand that we can’t take any of these with us when our time is up. And some of us just wander finding the perfect thing to love not realising perfection is an illusion.

As the rains intensified, I couldn’t even see the drops in the torrent. I broke out of my reverie and watched the waters flow and change the shape of the soil. I breathed in the rain and at that moment I knew there is so much that I will never see, hear or experience, yet in this one moment I am the entire universe, I am all.