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Toxic People You Don’t Need In 2018
2018 is an opportunity to let go of the negative people in your life. People who are holding you back and weighing you down; whether they are coworkers, friends or family members. Setting boundaries with toxic people or removing them from your life entirely can be difficult, but it’s ultimately necessary and freeing. Here are the different types:
#1: The people in your life should build you up and celebrate your accomplishments not poke holes in them. But somehow, some friends manage to find the storm clouds in even the sunniest skies. Got a raise at work? “That’s all? You really deserve so much more for the work you’re doing,” a negative friend will reply. Just planned the vacation of your dreams? And she’ll say: “Are you sure you want to go then? It’s a very crowded time of year.” Toxic people have a way of sucking the joy out of your good news and contorting your positive news into something negative. They’ll always find reasons why your good news isn’t great. And while it may seem like it’s coming from a place of care or concern, that usually isn’t the case.
#2: These people will try to attack, undermine or question your perception of reality to make you doubt yourself. That way, they can maintain the upper hand in the relationship. In most cases they are just insecure. They use these means in getting their needs met but it is incredibly damaging to relationships. They may outright lie and deny it, no matter the proof, their actions don’t match their words, they intentionally confuse you, make you think you’re the problem, or turn others against you.
#3: A user demands your time, energy and resources without taking your own wants and needs into consideration. Unless meeting your needs directly benefits their narcissistic agenda, a user will only give you enough to ensure you won’t leave them. Users tend to be likable people who often use their charm to get their way. Being around these people can feel great. When it’s convenient for them, they can make you feel invaluable and loved. But when it’s not, they’ll leave you feeling rejected, insecure and worthless.
#4: If a loved one continues to engage in reckless behaviour or struggles with an addiction they refuse to get help for, it may be time to rethink your relationship. He or she is out of control and dragging you down the drain too. You’re not helping this person by letting them take advantage of you, disrespect you or use you. That’s called enabling. You have to back off.
Stop cleaning up their mess. And stop running on guilt and the fear that they’ll hurt themselves. They probably will, and you can’t stop it.
#5: Friendships are meant to last forever, but reality is that many won’t, because they’re not supposed to.Bottom of Form
Many friends are just meant to be in our lives for a time and then we’re supposed to move on. Unfortunately, guilt, obligation and faulty beliefs keep us hanging on much longer than is good for us and often for them too. Friendships should be reciprocal and balanced. If they’re not, it may be time to move on.
#6: This person will constantly find fault with you and keep track of your every mistake so they can use it against you in the future. They play the one-upmanship card by drawing on the times you didn’t do something, let them down or did something incorrectly, and use as evidence of your shortcomings. When you try to defend yourself, discuss or resolve it, toxic people will usually bring up a disappointment from the past, pointing out your faults and how you’re never really there for them. They are always keeping score. And you’ll never get enough points. They will vehemently defend their perspective, and take no responsibility for anything they do or have ever done.
#7: None of us is perfect. So we rely on our real friends to be truthful with us when we need a wake-up call or an honest opinion. But someone who is constantly criticizing is not a true friend. The critic finds fault with much of what you do and will take every opportunity to point out a flaw. They also won’t approach you from a place of care and concern, but rather blame and accusations. They make it seem like you’re the problem instead of the behavior. Overly critical people often have low self-esteem and may be projecting their own insecurities onto the people around them.
#8: Toxic romantic relationships can be difficult to end especially when the other person refuses to take “no” for an answer. But cutting this person out of your life is often the best and healthiest decision you can make. If there are real problems, such as lying, severe money issues, a history of alcohol abuse, violence, many past relationship problems, a criminal record, reports of illegal activities or drug use, do not make excuses, and do not accept promises of change. Change is difficult, and will take a lot of time. Mere promises, no matter how well-intended, are not sufficient. Get out of this relationship before you are any more attached, or any more degraded, than you are now. If your partner decides to get help, let them do it because they know they need it, not to get you back.