WOW | Men Speak
WOULD YOU MARRY A SINGLE MOTHER?
Compiled by: Anushka Shrestha
Photos: Ram Tandukar/Gokul Shrees/Sabina Mainali
Academic Department, Islington College
Yes, as long as we are in love and compatible, I don’t care if she is a single mother or not. There might be many reasons that she’s a single mother such as the death of the husband, divorce due to her partner’s infidelity or they were just not compatible. I would properly consider all issues before jumping to conclusions. Most of the time when a relationship breaks, our society blames the woman. But, they overlook the fact that men are equally at fault. I believe everyone deserves a second chance at life. If I fall in love with a woman, who happens to be the mother of someone else’s child, I would not care about what the society has to say.
Chairman, The Arbitrary Group
Single moms might not feel as desirable for men in the dating market because of old fashioned stigmatised notions in some circles. Comments about their ‘mum bods’, worry about the child being an inconvenience, or even ill-placed concern that these women are in financial hardships may be deterrents in a society that cares so much about what their overzealous aunt says. But this attitude only deters men from finding educated and intellectual women who are awesome mums successful in their lives.
That being said, dating a single mom with a long term relationship in mind means asking some hard but necessary questions about each other’s pasts and expectations from each other from the beginning. Most importantly, it is natural that in a relationship she would want you to be involved with her child to some extent. So if you and the child become attached, what happens when the relationship ends. These questions might seem intrusive but it is important to be patient and understand that everyone has a past that they deserve to move on. If she is someone you are attracted to and intellectually compatible with, then this is not a conversation that should be difficult.
Executive Manager, 13 steps Design and Hospitality & Sales and Marketing Director, Club Playboy
It’s best to marry someone who doesn’t have baggage because you won’t be compared to her ex-husband. I feel in such a relationship you can’t be yourself. You spend a good chunk of your time just trying to reassure her that not all men are like her ex. Also eventually you might realise that she was responsible for the breakup. You don’t need any past drama sabotaging your relationship.
Managing Director, Adventure Kora
At this stage of life, the concept of marriage seems a distant thing for me. I would think many times before making the decision to get married. It is not like getting some materialistic thing from the market, we are talking about a partner here. It’s about the bond between two people and the promise to stay together and support each other through thick and thin. For this, one needs to have a partner who understands and supports you throughout your life. It’s about the connection, the vibe and the compatibility that I would search in a person rather than her marital status or her age. I think just by wearing modern clothes, owning modern commodities would just make me pseudo-modern, the real modernity lies in my thinking, and hence I would not hesitate to marry a single mother if she is the right one for me and if we make an ace team together.
Sajal Man Shrestha
Production Manager, Sitaram Gokul Milk Kathmandu
I don’t judge someone on the basis of their appearance but I tend to look at their character. Nepal has been a male-dominated society, where even Goddess Sita had to go through Agni Pareeksha to prove that she was pure. If I choose to marry a single mother, I would try to understand her circumstances and see through her perspective. If I am able to clear my doubts then I would definitely plan for a future together. The society would oppose my decision but I don’t mind.